I Adulted Today

When I was a kid, I thought being a grown up was probably the most boring thing ever. I guess I should thank my parents for keeping me so clueless about how hard it all actually is. But that’s what childhood is, right? The only time in our lives when it’s socially acceptable to be totally ignorant, selfish, little shits. God, it was glorious.

I can honestly say that it never occurred to me that adult life was so damn hard. And tedious. And something that I wasn’t going to be very good at. I mean, I’m 38 years old and I still haven’t figured it out. My only solace is that I look around me, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.

I stole my title from a post I saw on Facebook this morning that showed a pack of stickers with achievements like “I wore a bra today!” and “I kept my kids alive today!” The person who first made those is a genius, and deserves to be a millionaire. I would proudly sport my “I returned phone calls today” sticker, and my friend Lani could just stand in the school pickup line and hand out “I took a shower today!” stickers to scores of harried moms. Wouldn’t that be great? If we could actually feel appreciated for those little things?


But no, Pinterest exists. and so we know that we are doing it all wrong. We’re supposed to be decked out in LuluLemon at all times, just in case the other moms don’t know that we worked out today. Our kids are supposed to be on time everyday, with nutritious Bento boxes full of our organic love. We are supposed to be super moms, who also have fantastic jobs, and Southern Living houses that are always clean.

In all seriousness, screw Pinterest. That said, we do all have that one person that we look at and wonder how in the hell they do it. God knows I do, I won’t name her- it’s Brett- because she’d probably think I’m nuts and point me in the direction of her own person. It’s a vicious cycle that ends with Martha Stewart, or Gwyneth Paltrow, or whatever goddess they look up to.

So, I propose a challenge. Take a piece of paper and write down the names of three women that you’d really like to have dinner with. And then look at your list, and really think about who you chose.

Are they all perfect goddess women? If so, you’re screwed- go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

I bet they aren’t though. For example, my three women would be J.K. Rowling, Dame Maggie Smith and my Mema. Three women much more accurately described as kick-ass broads than perfect goddesses. Add two more: Tina Fey and Jenny Lawson. Same thing.

Try it. Maybe if we look at the women we admire with a clearer eye, then we’ll realize that the ultimate goal isn’t something as simple as perfection.

*Stickers available at ShortStackDesigns on Etsy


10 thoughts on “I Adulted Today

  1. Where’s the like button? How about stickers for teaching our kids to be independent like, My kid did his own laundry today, my kid scrubbed the bathroom, my kid makes his own lunch? Why are we only good moms if we do it all for them? Been there, done that and I was always exhausted. PS., on my list is my friend Kelly Williams because not only is she interesting, she’s not perfect and she’s real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unfortunately, WordPress won’t let you like something unless you sign up with the site. Bummer.
      And you are so right. Why does it all have to be for them. Let’s make pedicure appts!


  2. Congrats! You always wanted to write, …. Just Maybe in a different spectrum than you thought when you were a teenager . I’m very proud of you !


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